I Hope You Know How Much You Mean To Me...

I was hanging out with a dear friend of mine tonight, and experienced one of those moments where the rug literally got ripped out from under me. In one moment, the peace, laughter, and happiness that filled the room dispersed; I was left trying to gasp a single breath and not knowing whether to scream, cry, or just lash out. As I was processing through what occurred I realized how much I am in the process of grieving. I officially move to Nashville in five weeks. For many people this may seem like light years away, but you would be surprised how quickly time flies when you are doing everything in your power to hold onto it. It is literally like attempting to hold water in your clenched fist; before you know it, it is all but gone.

The process of grieving is a strange one. Emotions flood at times when you are least expectant, and a small situation can send me in a landslide of every emotion I have tried to avoid for the last week. Yet, I have been reminded that I am not in the process of grieving alone. Each person that remains in Tuscaloosa that are a piece of my life will be affected when I am gone. For some it will cause only a tiny ripple, and for others hours of their week will be left vacant. This can seem like a vain perception, but when you have invested in people and come to love each one of them, it is impossible for both sides not to be effected. The Lord has blessed me with an amazing place to grow and minister while in Tuscaloosa. I give Him all the glory and honor for any positive effect that I have had while in this city. It is only by Him and through Him that I have gotten to a place of healing and I pray that His hand has been seen in my life. But, me writing this is not about my small impact, but the huge impact my church family and friends have had on my life these past two years.

Two years ago when I moved to Tuscaloosa, I was extremely hurt and extremely broken. Although my façade was well placed, one look into my eyes revealed a depth of pain that I wasn’t able to verbalize. My prayers were spoken through tears. I remember calling a long time friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in two years and saying “Please have grace on me. I am not the person I was in college.” Brokenness changes a person, and at the moment I was wandering. But, in the midst of all that I knew there was one thing I could count on – Jesus was with me. In the first few weeks I prayed for a place of healing and a place of rest. Little did I know Jesus was about to once again exceed my expectation.

The story of how I came to VCC is for another posting, but I cannot tell you the life this place has created within me. My earnest prayer is that each and every person is able to experience the community that I have experienced. Regardless of what life threw my way, this group of people walked with me. I have never experienced a place that was so desperate to see people find healing and contentment in the Lord. A place where Scripture is not simply verses in a book, but words that are supposed to direct your life and how you view the world. This church family has fought for me, prayed for me, and cried with me. It is a place where failure was accepted because it was an opportunity for growth and learning. Encouragement runs within these peoples’ very veins – they will call forth giftings and callings that the Lord has instilled in your heart, but have not been uttered from your lips.

The women of the church have been incredibly impactful. Each one has opened up her home and offered me opportunity to see what it means to serve her husband, her children, and/or her friends. These women are fulfillment of prayers I prayed years ago. My journals are filled with prayers for women who would burn with passion for the Lord and would create a place for His renown. He answered above and beyond my wildest dreams. The Lord hears our prayers and is diligent to answer them in the time that He deems appropriate! How thankful I am that He answered my prayer with each of these women! I wish I could state each of their names, but I know that as they read this that the Lord will show them the impact they have had! I bless His name, because of you. Your life has brought life, healing, and teaching, and I am forever grateful.

When I look back on my time in Tuscaloosa I see a full life. I never expected these two years to bring such fulfillment, healing, and joy. But then again when life takes a turn we don’t expect – what do we really know? I challenge each of you, regardless of your circumstances, embrace where the Lord has you, and you will find abundant life!

So I prepare to leave Tuscaloosa having much more to grieve. I am so glad that I serve a God who provides for me. I know that my life in Nashville will have much to live up to because of the authentic and rich people I have met here. I love you all and your absence in my everyday life will leave a hole you cannot imagine. But, I will continue to praise the Lord because of you. And as I hope to touch lives in Nashville for His glory, know the ripple effect your life is having; for the only reason I can serve Him as I do is because the impact you have had on my life.

I love you guys and gals, and I pray that I get to thank you each individually before I leave!