Such a Time As This

I am confident that I was made for such a time as this. Like Esther who was unsure of the path set before her. I too have wavered. But as Esther had faith that the call set before her was from the Lord I too have that faith. I have faith that the giftings that the Lord has bestowed on me are not for my happiness, but for his service. That I was made to be trusted, to be dumped on, to be asked for advice and then to see the opposite be chosen. I was made to be honest, to choose righteousness, to encourage people to be more than they though they could be. I was made to encourage, to make people laugh, to bring a smile, to be an optimist. I was made to weep for those I love, to spend sleepless nights on my face crying out on others behalf. I was made to be broken. To be broken for the lost and for the saved. To experience the pain of betrayal and the beauty of redemption. I have been allowed to taste of our Father's tears. To understand a small sample of his pain. To have loved with my whole heart and to have that love spat on and rejected. I have drank of His tears and somehow survived. All in all I have survived and will continue to survive. I may not be able to rise to my feet, but even prostrate at His feet I will still serve. For I know that what I experience is not even comparable to a millisecond of what He experienced on the cross. And for that reason it is an honor that I have been deemed worthy to suffer – even in this small way.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:2-3